A6X06F2A​-​K [6000 BTU Cooling​]​{​insulatedplenum}

by The Conditioner

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    A Compendium of Classic Disques (volume 3) is a collection of record reviews culled from the personal files of mysterious author, activist investor, and film director Rik Pollen. Each album under review is widely considered to be a canonical piece of music; together with Mr Pollen's famous wit and inisght, the collection is truly a gift to the field of artistic criticism, as well as to music snobs everywhere.

    Review written by Rik Pollen
    Edited by Cymru Roberts
    All artwork by Thomas Davis
    Most rights reserved.
    ©2030 Samson & Press

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1.
Krakenhaus Kondiš 03:11
lyrics
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Well, I aint a critic or nothin, but I call it payin respect to good machines. The real quality ones deserve to be heard, y’know, in conditions that are suitable. Y’see an A/C is like a plant. You wouldn’t let a plant sit there without any water or stick it somewhere where it wouldn’t get any sun, would you? Same for a unit. An air conditioner’s gotta breathe. Then you get it. Same goes for air conditioners. People think just cuz they machines they aint got no feelings.

about

The Conditioner is most probably Bernhard Zeller, member #87978234 of the United Plumbers & Pipetapers Union (although he would never admit it). Luminaries such as Lazar Prettymountain and Okrah Wingsneeze have touted Zeller (or whomever it really is) as changing the ambient music game, and credit him (or her or them) as making HVAC units more musically accesible.

"The Condish gave me the confidence to pursue my own passion."
––– Machine-3
ambient/industrial producer

credits

released December 14, 2022

zine created by ®iK Pollen & S&P (CAT:S&P007)
sweet ambivalent (& ambient ^^) beats by errorinprogress.bandcamp.com
vox by a computer... but they got feelins too :^j

license

all rights reserved

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